Did you say all babies are different?

“All babies are different.”
You hear that phrase from the beginning of pregnancy. All pregnancies are different, all babies are different, all kids , all people … You see where I’m going with this. This is sometimes paired with, you have to do what works for you and your family.

Then people ask what has been working for you and the judgement begins. You can’t give your baby that! You can’t do this or that! There is no way your baby can be doing that.

Weaning- let your baby lead you. My baby self-weaned at 10 months. There is no way your baby can be self-weanibg so young. Oh I didn’t know that you were secretly living in my home observing my baby’s eating habits. That’s creepy. You should stop. There are many reasons babies stop nursing. Could be a supply issue. Could be a preference to the bottle. Could be they are truly done needing the nursing. Who knows. All I do know is that you should be reserving your judgement.

Teething – your baby is always teething. Since the day they are born until they get permanent teeth. See the baby is chewing on things. Don’t babies always chew on things? Isn’t that on all the websites as normal baby behavior? Well you need to get gum numbing gel- it’s safe. No I think the baby is fine. Really it’s ok a doctor told me about it 40 years ago. We decided not to use teething gel. Some babies start getting teeth at 3 months and regularly every couple months. Not all, some.

Diaper rash- this quote actually came from an official baby website. Every baby gets diaper rash. Put diaper rash cream on the registry. Get unwanted diaper rash cream as gifts. Not every baby gets diaper rash. Many do, not all.

You will grow to understand your baby. When you need advice, ask. When you get unsolicited advice carry on. Do your best and everything will be fine.

Sleep? Are you there?

I have been saying a lot. I just want to put it out into the universe… pregnancy should be the most restful time in life.  

I will likely never get to sleep in again.  Kikka is almost one and getting busier everyday.  First it was the frequent feedings, then the random rolling over, then the random falling over while trying to sit, then the crawling and reaching new uncharted places, then the cruising and reaching more uncharted territory and now the walking is upon us! 
I constantly watch her like a hawk, but after a year I am beat. Also because I was exhausted going in after a tiring pregnancy and equally tiring labor and delivery.  Even when she sleeps the whole night I am still tired.

It should really be that you are cocooned in constant comfort and an extended period of relaxation when pregnant.  That should be what pregnancy means. Everyone should pamper you with treats and massages. This way when the baby arrives you feel better about the chaos and lack of …everything.  You would say to yourself…”well, I had 9 months of deep relaxation and restfulness and now I am ready for motherhood.”  And when times were hard with your new little human you could think back to that wonderful time when you slept to your hearts content. 

Just imagine that…

Pregnancy: 3rd Trimester and The End

By the third trimester I was spent. I could barely walk due to excruciating pelvic pain.  it would take me 20 minutes to walk the same distance it took me 5 minutes to do pre-pregnancy.  The vomiting decreased in frequency but I still had issues up until a week before C was born.  My poor husband had to put on my socks and shoes each morning.

The worst part was preparing for labor, delivery, and motherhood.  I would stress about changing diapers for no good reason. But I had not done it before and it seemed like something I would be doing often.

Anyhow I busied myself with prepping for baby.  Making a birth plan and setting up the nursery. Anything to keep my mind off of the reality the labor.  I was certain she would come early…

Fast forward a few days after my due date and this child still had not made her appearance.  I had already went on maternity leave and was so anxious I probably should have been sedated.  I had been having regular contractions getting closer together and spotting but it all suddenly stopped and almost a week later still no baby.

After what seemed like a daily visit to the doctor it was decided that I would be induced.  The baby wasn’t tracing well and my super experienced doctor thought it was safer to get her out.  So I went and got my already packed bag and headed to the hospital.  I remember sitting in the delivery waiting for the induction,  turning to B and saying I change my mind.  I had zero interest in birthing a baby.

But 24 hours later we welcomed Kikka.  After a failed induction and many hours of labor with oxygen, I had an emergency C-section.  Turns out Kikka had the umbilical cord wrapped twice around her neck, was slowly being strangled and was in distress.

I can’t say this enough folks- Get a doctor you trust!  I trusted my doctor with my life and my baby’s life.  She saved my babies life with just her instincts. I have a wonderful thriving baby girl because of her.

Pregnancy: 2nd Trimester

All the blogs I read said the second trimester would be the best.  You would get a burst of energy, your morning sickness would subside and you wouldn’t be too big to get around and be active.  This was not the case for me.
This was when the morning sickness really started making me earn my mommy stripes.  Along with being nauseous 24/7 I was now vomiting after every meal and couldn’t even drink water.  In the first trimester I did well with veggies but in the second I was good with nothing.  I would manage to hydrate by drinking Gatorade and drinking cold tea.  Basically I would put hot water on a tea bag and slowly drink it so it would get to be room temp and then continually adding water as I drank.  Otherwise I couldn’t even keep water down.

I was diagnosed with hyperemesis and giving a prescription for Reglan.  I felt so guilty taking it, but took enough to survive.  After all I still had responsibilities – like going to work to afford my fancy new baby.  With the medication my symptoms improved but did not disappear completely.

The second trimester also brought increased pain. Increased fibromyalgia pain and new pelvic pain.  The pelvic pain would send me to the hospital twice. 

Sleep was a thing of the past. I couldn’t get comfy and with the pelvic pain I struggled to move.  I slept with 6 pillow and a body pillow.  I would threaten B that he would have to find elsewhere to sleep.  Lucky for him I never actually went through with forcing him out of bed.  He did master the amazing act of sleeping on his side at the exact edge of the mattress. If he took up more than 6 inches I would push him and complain.  Like dude… there are already two people in this bed.