The stuff of life…

What’s the point of your existence? What will you leave behind when you die?

You don’t have to have the answer. It’s ok to not know sometimes.

It can be something simple–my life’s goal and purpose is to be kind. Kind to myself, others, animals, plants, earth.

I aspire to be kind everyday. I also want kindness to be a key component of my life’s work. I work in the social impact field and wherever life takes me that will remain a constant.

Spend some time thinking about your legacy and take steps to work towards creating your legacy everyday.

Remember Joy and Laughter?

These days it is so easy to be angry. You do not have to look far to find situations and people that are unjust. But we have to be careful not to let the anger take over our lives and replace instances to create and celebrate joy.

I ask everyone to look inward and find their joy. To see the injustice around you and seek to repair damage but not to forget that there are things that you like and people that you care for. It is a hard time for many people but when someone is going through something difficult it helps not to be reminded of it continuously.

Help someone get a mental health break today. Help someone laugh. Help someone to find joy and give them hope.

Did you say all babies are different?

“All babies are different.”
You hear that phrase from the beginning of pregnancy. All pregnancies are different, all babies are different, all kids , all people … You see where I’m going with this. This is sometimes paired with, you have to do what works for you and your family.

Then people ask what has been working for you and the judgement begins. You can’t give your baby that! You can’t do this or that! There is no way your baby can be doing that.

Weaning- let your baby lead you. My baby self-weaned at 10 months. There is no way your baby can be self-weanibg so young. Oh I didn’t know that you were secretly living in my home observing my baby’s eating habits. That’s creepy. You should stop. There are many reasons babies stop nursing. Could be a supply issue. Could be a preference to the bottle. Could be they are truly done needing the nursing. Who knows. All I do know is that you should be reserving your judgement.

Teething – your baby is always teething. Since the day they are born until they get permanent teeth. See the baby is chewing on things. Don’t babies always chew on things? Isn’t that on all the websites as normal baby behavior? Well you need to get gum numbing gel- it’s safe. No I think the baby is fine. Really it’s ok a doctor told me about it 40 years ago. We decided not to use teething gel. Some babies start getting teeth at 3 months and regularly every couple months. Not all, some.

Diaper rash- this quote actually came from an official baby website. Every baby gets diaper rash. Put diaper rash cream on the registry. Get unwanted diaper rash cream as gifts. Not every baby gets diaper rash. Many do, not all.

You will grow to understand your baby. When you need advice, ask. When you get unsolicited advice carry on. Do your best and everything will be fine.

Sleep? Are you there?

I have been saying a lot. I just want to put it out into the universe… pregnancy should be the most restful time in life.  

I will likely never get to sleep in again.  Kikka is almost one and getting busier everyday.  First it was the frequent feedings, then the random rolling over, then the random falling over while trying to sit, then the crawling and reaching new uncharted places, then the cruising and reaching more uncharted territory and now the walking is upon us! 
I constantly watch her like a hawk, but after a year I am beat. Also because I was exhausted going in after a tiring pregnancy and equally tiring labor and delivery.  Even when she sleeps the whole night I am still tired.

It should really be that you are cocooned in constant comfort and an extended period of relaxation when pregnant.  That should be what pregnancy means. Everyone should pamper you with treats and massages. This way when the baby arrives you feel better about the chaos and lack of …everything.  You would say to yourself…”well, I had 9 months of deep relaxation and restfulness and now I am ready for motherhood.”  And when times were hard with your new little human you could think back to that wonderful time when you slept to your hearts content. 

Just imagine that…

Random New Pains: Costochondritis 

The issue with fibromyalgia is everything you feel you are getting it under control you have a flare up or the dreaded new symptom 😫😲

Then you are there wondering is this still FMS? Should I call my doctor? As I mentioned before I have a 3 day rule. I monitor the symptom and see how it progresses.  If it does not improve within 3 days I make an appointment or if it is severe I go to urgent care.

About 3 years ago I started getting a sharp pain in my ribs.  So painful I couldn’t breathe.  I had experienced chest pain in the past but this was different. After 3 days of the pain coming and going without improvement I finally went to urgent care.  It turns out that I had costochondritis. Which did turn up on Dr. Google 😉

According to the Mayo Clinic,
Costochondritis (kos-toe-kon-DRY-tis) is an inflammation of the cartilage that connects a rib to the breastbone (sternum). Pain caused by costochondritis might mimic that of a heart attack or other heart conditions.

Costochondritis is sometimes known as chest wall pain, costosternal syndrome or costosternal chondrodynia. Sometimes, swelling accompanies the pain (Tietze syndrome).

Muscle relaxers were the treatment. I followed up with my rheumatologist.  Good news was that the diagnosis lead me to a muscle relaxer that actually works for me without causing extreme tiredness the next morning.

Oddly enough I had a colleague who had experienced costochondritis as well.  Our bodies find such interesting ways to get inflamed.  I still get a flare up every now and then but as with #fmlife you just get on with it.

Pregnancy: 3rd Trimester and The End

By the third trimester I was spent. I could barely walk due to excruciating pelvic pain.  it would take me 20 minutes to walk the same distance it took me 5 minutes to do pre-pregnancy.  The vomiting decreased in frequency but I still had issues up until a week before C was born.  My poor husband had to put on my socks and shoes each morning.

The worst part was preparing for labor, delivery, and motherhood.  I would stress about changing diapers for no good reason. But I had not done it before and it seemed like something I would be doing often.

Anyhow I busied myself with prepping for baby.  Making a birth plan and setting up the nursery. Anything to keep my mind off of the reality the labor.  I was certain she would come early…

Fast forward a few days after my due date and this child still had not made her appearance.  I had already went on maternity leave and was so anxious I probably should have been sedated.  I had been having regular contractions getting closer together and spotting but it all suddenly stopped and almost a week later still no baby.

After what seemed like a daily visit to the doctor it was decided that I would be induced.  The baby wasn’t tracing well and my super experienced doctor thought it was safer to get her out.  So I went and got my already packed bag and headed to the hospital.  I remember sitting in the delivery waiting for the induction,  turning to B and saying I change my mind.  I had zero interest in birthing a baby.

But 24 hours later we welcomed Kikka.  After a failed induction and many hours of labor with oxygen, I had an emergency C-section.  Turns out Kikka had the umbilical cord wrapped twice around her neck, was slowly being strangled and was in distress.

I can’t say this enough folks- Get a doctor you trust!  I trusted my doctor with my life and my baby’s life.  She saved my babies life with just her instincts. I have a wonderful thriving baby girl because of her.